When we talk about “Love” inside a marriage, Proverbs is full of wisdom for us to reflect on!
Proverbs 15:18 – A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
We need to always be patient with our spouse, not just when it suits us. Love will always wait!
Proverbs 11:17 – A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.
The old adage “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”, certainly can apply. We need use a kind tone of voice, kind words, and always be lifting up our spouse with our words, not tearing them down.
…does not Envy or Boast, is not Arrogant or Rude
Proverbs 16:16 – Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
If we approach our marriage like we do our jobs (especially if we have any authority at all in our jobs) we are setting ourselves up for trouble. Humility is the key to mutual submission, and without it, your spouse will never meet your expectations or be good enough.
…does not Insist on its own way
Proverbs 18:1 – Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement.
We see the problem in this great proverb. Isolation causes us to think our way is right, our way is best, and our way is the only way. Like the proverb says, that is “against all sound judgement”. We need input, we need counsel, we need to allow good outside influences into our home. As men, if we are to lead, we need to look to other men who are doing it right. As women, if we are to submit, we need to look to other women who are doing it right.
…is not Irritable or Resentful
Proverbs 19:11 – Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Ever be in an argument with your spouse and someone brings up that incident from Christmas 2003? You know that holding onto the times you been wronged does no good for you or your marriage. Like the popular song says, “Let it go…let it go!” Maybe there is forgiveness (and grace and mercy) that needs to extended. Maybe you need to apologize (even if you are right). Ephesians 4:6 reminds us to “not let the sun go down on your anger.” Good advice.
…it does not Rejoice in Wrongdoing
Proverbs 24:17 – Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles.
Ever just waited for your spouse to screw up? Why? Just so you could say, “Ha! I knew it! Now I have you! Honestly ask yourself what are hoping to accomplish from that? If we are truly loving our spouse, we should rejoice when they rejoice, hurt when they hurt, and look for every chance to come alongside them to encourage, build up, and help them. And isn’t that we all really want when we mess up?